Goal No: 8 Let’s explore how to overcome emotional baggage. We all carry emotional baggage and there are ways to release it. We need to learn how to make wise decisions with our emotions in check. Emotionally charged decisions will have us quit, will put us deeper in debt and drop us in the shite.
THE EMOTIONAL BEAST
Firstly we have to recognise the beast is in action. Some examples of these feelings are: believing we are always right and battering others with our incessant ravings, I have to have it and I have to have it now resulting in blowing the budget, getting into conflict through jealousy, when trying to achieve a task and running into obstacle after obstacle, our emotions overcome us and we miss something important.
The emotional beast is at work when we feel frustrated, fed up, angry, jealous, overwhelmed, overloaded, wound up like a spring, tight as a drum, tense, throw things, hit out, yell, blame, abuse and you know where I’m going with this. These are all damaging emotional patterns.
Have the presence of mind not to take the bait. Simply make a statement like I’m not arguing with you, perhaps we can talk about this later when we are both calmer, I need time to think about this or simply walk away. Try to defuse the situation. A task that is frustrating us where we keep trying the same thing over and over? Simply walk away, take a break, go for a walk and clear our heads. Often when we resume we notice, what we were missing, or see the answer with fresh eyes.
Reactions and decisions guided by highly charged negative emotions never end well.
BECOME A SOCRATES AND WE CAN GO CLOSE
In his day Socrates, a Liberated Adult and well known philosopher once said:
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”.
For those interested in philosophy: Socrates, an Ancient Greek Philosopher (399 BC to 470 BC) developed the Socratic dialogue (his method of questions and answers) and led to today’s platform of understanding in this area.
He then taught Plato, who in turn taught Aristotle who then advised Alexander the Great.
Pretty awesome reference I reckon.
SADLY I CHEATED MYSELF FOR OVER HALF MY LIFE
By following the “norm” and staying in my comfort zone I was dead from the feet up for over half my life! They say you get wiser as you grow older, but nothing can give me back that wasted half of my life.
I implore all of you to not waste your lives like me, and furthermore, teach our children to truly LIVE their lives. It is not too late!
ARE YOU A LIBERATED ADULT?
The Liberated Adult acknowledges and owns the damaging emotions they are feeling. In order to progress to making a common sense, inspired decision these feelings need to be released and recognised for what they are, simply damaging feelings. How do we do this?
TWO TECHNIQUES I USE
These techniques, like all techniques or instruction papers, are somewhat clinical to read. I suggest you skip over them for now, read on and find why they will help you. It is my intention to have inspired all of you, and then come back, read them, print them off and make them an integral part of our daily lives.
NO: 1 I sit the feeling up in front of myself and examine it. I recall all the associated feelings that come up. Now I have a clear picture of what it feels like, looks like, smells like, where it fits in my past and the guts of it.
Then I look for the opposite positive feeling and sit that up in front of me and recall all the times in my life that I have felt that feeling, how good it feels, how I’ve already experienced it and I know I can feel and have it.
Then, charged with the passion of all my past knowledge where I felt so good, I am able to release the negative feeling that was holding me back and replace it with positive feeling.
This space is an extraordinary place to be when making decisions. It is a place of detachment, being cool and unemotional. Everything becomes crystal clear and decisions are made with intent and total confidence.
NO: 2 A session with any mirror. Have you ever really looked yourself in the eye? This technique is similar to the first except we face ourselves as we discuss with ourselves our current damaging emotional state. Usually my eyes become glazed and my normal focus can become distorted. This is a good thing, we are now in a state of deep relaxation just let it happen.
For example: After a few deep breaths and relaxing, I say to myself in the mirror I feel desperate and bring up and discuss with myself all the past details just like the first technique. Then I picture myself in say 1-3 months time in the future still feeling desperate and nothing has changed. Let all of that go.
Now I imagine myself having made the change to my confident self. Play it out like running a video and make it big and full of passions and knowing. Let it go.
Then I ask myself, how did you make the change or what do I need to do next? Sit ever so quietly, wait and listen. Thoughts will arise to the forefront (from our own experience in life) that will answer our questions and show us what action to take. Sometimes, nothing arises at that moment, but we will have one of those “aa ha, light bulb flashes” in the next day or so.
Then I quietly find 5 things to be grateful for in my now. My cosy bed, roof over my head, health and well being, success I have so far etc. etc. This finishes the session leaving me feeling looked after and taken care of despite my struggles. For this I am truly grateful.
I learned this technique from Joe Vitale extraordinaire, by purchasing and trying his so called “new age fan dangle rubbishy program”. Says it all doesn’t it! Joe has a free quiz you can do to find out where you are on your journey.
MY PERSONAL EXAMPLE
Due to an emotionally charged decision made a couple of years ago, I am DESPARATE to make money. I woke feeling DESPARATE. It seemed that all my dedicated efforts kept amounting to nothing and I wasn’t getting any traction. I felt miserable, frustrated, heavy, tense, hurt and angry to name a few.
The opposite that came up for me was CONFIDENT. I looked back in my life for times when I brimmed with confidence and success. I remembered my excellent school report cards (until I discovered “boys”), how I got every job I wanted with ease, how I did well at tennis and swimming, how I became Manager of a Credit Union. The icing on the cake was I recalled the job references that I was given and how they expressed my competence and amenable personality.
I was uplifted and remembered how CONFIDENT I had been and took on anything I wanted and achieved success. I knew I had the confidence in myself to achieve today’s goals.
Dressed in the confidence I know I have, I went back to work with an amazing attitude that all is well and I will succeed.
EMOTIONALLY CHARGED DECISIONS ROB US AND DROP US
They rob us of opportunities and they drop us in the shite and here we are back in our comfort zones and wallowing in the “norm” again. If, the sometimes misguided “norm” says it’s a scam, people believe it. The word scam is highly charged and we mistakenly accept all without question. I implore people to question, research and gather information for themselves so we can make independent unemotional decisions based on fact.
Examples of a “norm” scam” is pyramid selling, any get rich quick programs, buying email lists etc and after researching, gathering facts I made informed decisions they are not for me. Note: Had I made an emotionally charged decision, based purely on “hearsay” I would not have been able to weed out the good from the scams.
Why did I say that? Because tossed into the same “norm” basket was Wealthy Affiliates, making money online, manifesting programs and hypnosis downloads. I put on my Liberated Adult hat, gathered facts, did my own due diligence, tried the products and discovered they are authentic, genuine and have integrity. Are you interested in an online business? YES! I am a member of Wealthy Affiliates, it is free to join. Upon clicking on the link the first page will ask for your email address, scroll on to research and get an idea.
On my journey I have learned to release the past and focus on the new. To do this I had to get out of my comfort zone, question the “norm” and make my own unemotional decisions. In the process I grew up and became a Liberated Adult.
We must grow up and become independent free thinkers. Liberated adults get all the goodies. When we naively accept the “norm” and remain cemented in our comfort zones we are not living. We are, in fact, dead from the feet up. Is this what we want for ourselves? NO! Not for me!
This new place I’ve discovered of being detached, being cool, having clarity and making common sense unemotional decisions is living my life, on my terms. Now I know why the monks talk about detachment!
I have shared with you two techniques to escape being “dead from the feet up” and I sincerely wish that I have helped you out. It is not easy to break out of old habits, however, once I practiced these techniques I became aware I now find making changes in my easy. I have developed a new habit and a new way to live.
Sorry if I have got up on my soap box again. My having found a better more rewarding way to live my precious life I simply want it for you too. We all, YES ALL, are amazing talented people who can and will leave our mark on the world if we choose to.
I invite you to share your experiences and your comments so we can help each other, grow together and, at least, visit the realms of Socrates!
If the comment box does not appear under this article, navigate to the comments section by scrolling back up to the top of the white page, on your right hand side you will see RECENT POSTS. Click on the top post (which is this post), when it opens, scroll to the bottom and the comment box will be ready for you. Hang with me on this, computer gremlins.
Cheers now, Jill