Let’s explore the difference between self esteem and ego. There are layers and layers of ego and when we overcome a layer we think we are done. Believe me there are other layers that go deeper and deeper. The bears and the rainbows are away having a holiday so it’s back to earthling me.


The ego drives low esteem and is learned behaviour that can be unlearned. I believe the first few layers are easily recognised as they are simply “on the surface” negative thinking. The very first thing we need to do is become self aware of negative thoughts to enable us to challenge the ego and take back control of our lives.

By simply deciding we will discipline ourselves to become self aware is the very first layer. The ego will immediately resist any endeavour to become self aware as it knows it is about to be challenged. Consequently, we will have thoughts of :

BASEMENT: “I can’t be bothered monitoring my thoughts, my speak and my actions. This is all bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with my ego, it’s you that has the problem” etc. and our self esteem stays low, exactly where it is. Does this sound familiar?

FIRST FLOOR: We defy our egos and start to monitor our thoughts, speak and action and discover quickly that we do think, speak and act negatively most of our waking hours. We decide to consciously change our thoughts, speak and actions to positive ones. We begin to look at what would truly make us happy. Perhaps more money, more love, a better job, more freedom. Our egos react with:

“You are being silly, you don’t deserve that, you are not worthy, you are not smart enough, you are too old or too young” etc. and our self esteem stays low, exactly where it is.


EIGHTH FLOOR: We have pushed past the bottom floors to about the eighth floor and our self esteem is significantly higher. We do love ourselves, know we deserve and are worthy of anything we desire, have decided where we want to be in 1 year’s time, have set our goals on paper, we have a step by step plan and we feel good about ourselves, have grown in confidence, believe in ourselves and know where we are going. However, we reach a block/barrier that has us reeling, we feel stuck, we are in a maze, every way we turn is unrewarding, we have pushed so hard we are exhausted perhaps even burned out. At this point the blocks/barriers we come across are much stronger and stretching our resolve, however we can find solutions. Our egos have lost layer after layer and are now fighting to remain in control and their reactions are also stronger and more sophisticated:

“You are stuck, you are confused, frustrated, disappointed, despairing, overwhelmed, you have to struggle to get ahead, it’s so tough, things have to be hard, it’s never going to be easy, you will never make it, I told you so” and now our higher self esteem stays exactly where it is.

Have you noticed the higher we go the resistant feelings become a greater challenge to overcome.


By this stage I have learned to identify Higher Self language versus Ego language. Let’s make a list of a few to refer back to.


  • Positive/ Negative
  • Generous/ Greed
  • Light/ Dark
  • Hope/ Despair
  • Belief/ DisappointmentTHE FLIP
  • Love/Self Hate
  • Full/ Empty
  • Joy/ Depressed, debilitated
  • Clarity/ Confusion
  • Compassion/ Indifference
  • Patience/ Impatience
  • Optimism/ Pessimism
  • Healing/ Sickness
  • Winning /Defeat
  • Controlled/ Overwhelm
  • Surety/ Fear
  • Easy /Hard
  • Soft /Tough
  • Harmony /Struggle
  • Anger/ Calm
  • Sweet/ Bitter
  • Free /Stuck
  • Support Sharing /Loneliness
  • Courage/ Doubt

Remember THE FLIP. We simply need to choose the positive attitude and wear it proudly. Be aware the ego will make things seem tougher, a struggle and harder. When I am faced with a challenge that I can’t see a solution, I fall back on my intuition for answers. e.g. I am particularly inept with the technical side of social media. After feeling “helpless and I don’t know how to do this stuff” my intuition told me to get help from an expert. The lesson I learned was “Asking for help is a perfectly acceptable solution”. My ego had me floundering around, wounded and not capable for a day or two! There is always an answer from our higher selves.


It could be a mentor, a teacher, a friend, a business acquaintance, a peer, someone doing what you want to learn. I have found help and assistance in a female entrepreneur group, a business acquaintance and a teacher. Once again I remind you of one of my teachers,  Joe Vitale. I have great respect for Joe, and his teachings have just got me through an ego driven battle (block/barrier) that I was losing big time. His latest scientifically proven method, called The Secret Mirror, really worked a treat for me. I strongly recommend that you give this a try.  It has a 60 day money back guarantee.  I can assure you I won’t be returning mine! Thank you Joe. Once more I am free and off and running, feeling wonderful and confident knowing I have places to go for a helping hand.

In Conclusion

There truly is help everywhere if we take the time to calm down, get grounded, stay true to ourselves and our goals, look and ask. Once again, I request you comments on you journeys, perhaps where you are at, where you are going, a challenge you overcame and how. Sharing and supporting is a wonderful way to give back, lend a helpful hand and grow together. Until next time, Cheers Jill

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