TOP 10 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GOALS NO: 1

Goal No: 1 Examples of Social Norms. We are off to explore our social norms and discover how damaging they are and how they bring about limited thinking. Surprised? So was I!  Let’s personally develop ourselves to make our goals easier.

ACCEPTANCE OF THE NORM

Believe it or not the social norm is a set of rules that dictates to us and most of us unconsciously choose to live by. Have you ever questioned the norm? Fortunately, the norm dictates some healthy ideas and unfortunately, some limiting unhealthy ideas about how we should run our lives. Most of us accept the social norms as gospel and rarely do they get challenged.

LET’S CHALLENGE THE SOCIAL NORMS SHALL WE?

Within the social norms I have discovered how it limits our beliefs and damages our way of thinking. Let’s look at a fewSOCIAL NORMS examples of how the social norm has us take unhealthy action and make unwise decisions.

The norm dictates what is fashionable, i.e. what we will wear, what we will drink, what and how we should eat, what restaurants are the best in town, what is newsworthy (most of it being negative), what pills we will take, where our children will go to school etc. etc.

One classic norm rule most of us follow is buying a home. This home “must have” a mortgage, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, the latest big screen TV, at least 2 garages, swimming pool, shed, and be equipped with all the latest fashion kitchens, tiles, windows, security system, and all the modern bells and whistles. You get my drift. This is commonly referred to as INSTANT GRATIFICATION and is explained in a recent post of mine which also addresses GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS.

Then the next rule is we must get a job and work for a considerable number of years of our lives to pay off the “acceptable” debt. Most of the time this means our wives must also work and the children then go to day care and this is OK, this is normal. Is it I ask? I don’t believe so.SMALL AND AFFORDABLE

We all have the capability to choose to buy, with a small mortgage, a small place without all the bells and whistles, live with the basic necessities (minimum of furniture, washing machine, fridge, kettle, a small TV) and make it our business to save for floor coverings, blinds and the bells and whistles with cash from our savings. End result, manageable mortgage that can be dispensed with more rapidly. Perhaps with a manageable mortgage, one of the parents can be a “stay at home” and witness the children growing up. Is this not common sense?

The norm teaches the populace it is just fine to be in debt up to our eyeballs and ALSO, FOR THE GOVERNMENT to be in deficit and continue to spend. Think about it.

The norm, in fact brain washes us and conditions us to “follow like sheep”. We don’t action our independent free thinking capabilities to arrive at our own informed decisions.

IN DEFENCE OF THE SOCIAL NORM

The saving grace for the norm comes in many forms. It teaches us, what is right from wrong. It is great to help people, protect and love our children, invent, discover medical breakthroughs etc and not okay to be murderers, violent folk, rapists, cheats etc.

CREATING NEW NORMS

Independent free thinking people are the brilliant genius type folk who invent, discover, explore and challenge “what is”SOCIAL NORMS therefore creating a new norm. A classic change in the norm is the internet. The masses benefit and accept the new norm, even the misguided ones. Things that come to mind that I find dicey are freedom of speech, no gender, climate change, political correctness. What are your thoughts?

When did we forget to think for ourselves? How can we accept our “sheep like behaviour?”. When did we stop being ourselves and become robots? This saddens me.

LET’S PERSONALLY DEVELOP OUR THOUGHTS

Let’s opt out of the limiting social norms. We all have the capability to become independent free thinkers and liberated adults. By fine tuning our thoughts we can let go of all limiting beliefs and know that “the sky’s the limit”. We need to personally develop our thoughts and discover our explorers, inventors, be brave courageous people who design ourselves and our lives. Take the lid off and have a look at what’s there.

We all need a helping hand and that includes me. Today, there are many people who are liberated adults and are doing their best to give us a helping hand. Their self-help programs teach us to think outside of the norm and reclaim our thinking capabilities. Most of the time their programs are unfamiliar (outside the norm) and even a bit challenging to accept.

Wearing my curious explorer attitude I took the plunge, despite my reluctance, consequently learning and experiencing a new way to tackle life and it’s challenges. I commend these people for being brave enough to share some of these outlandish ideas. I wonder why they did it? They are proof that their ideas are sound. Are you prepared to take the plunge and break out of the norm?  If you decide YES, read my recent blog PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PLAN including the self-help programs for more information.

IN CONCLUSION

It has been lovely chatting with you once more. Maybe my provocative thoughts stirred a little curiosity. My job is to help with claiming our independent free thinkers. Agree/disagree with me, please leave your comments and experience so we can grow together.  To leave a comment you may need to go to the top of the white page, RHS and click on this post in Recents Posts.  Sorry for the inconvenience, technology gremlins!!

Cheers now, Jill

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10 Replies to “TOP 10 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GOALS NO: 1”

  1. This right here might be the best article I’ve read in a long time. I endorse challenging social norms and relaying independent thought.

    What always happens when we fall victim to social norms is this: Successful on the outside, from a societal standpoint, but in reality, there’s zero success in following such social norms. We fell victim to debt, and are now enslaved to our jobs, many of which we’d do anything to get out of, but we can’t, for thirty to forty years.

    It’s a con the government and society throws on us: The big lie is debts don’t matter; they do matter, and they will leave that instant gratification fast, into a pain, a pain known as the pain of regret.

    Not for me.

    Instead, follow the heart; the soul; the independent mind. We’re all freethinkers, or at least we’re born freethinkers until the near-monopolized government schools grab as by the throat and never let go, cognitively conditioning us into dissonance, and mainstream media and entertainment pick up right where schools left off.

    All those feelings of success, immediate success, are vanquished, and we’re now a shell of who we once were, stuck to claw our way out of debt.

    But, it doesn’t need to be like this. We can be independent and prosperous. We can start small, and build our way up, remaining as debt-free or as close to debt-free as we can. Pain of Discipline, I call it.

    Then, we can build, strengthen our minds, our character, while those falling to the norms fall victim around us, but we can save a few souls, and this is why I love this article. It can and will save a few souls.

    It’s time we lived independently as individuals.

    1. Hi Todd, Thank you for sharing. Looks like you and I are on the same page! Whoot Whoot! The small transportable house in the article is for sale for a mere $63,000. Buy a block of land for say $250,000 drop the home on it, total mortgage $313,000. I know people who have signed up for $900,000 plus. Social norms have a lot to answer for. Cheers Jill

  2. Jill – this was such a fantastic article. I love articles which really challenge your mind and thinking. It’s so very true that we subconsciously accept the norm in most cases. I admit, that I have often thought to myself on various occasions – “if I choose that or do that, it’s not in the norm”.

    Thankfully, I have pretty much stepped out of that box (although it creeps up every now and then) and I act independently whether what I do or choose is the norm or not.

    We are all individuals with many “rockets of desires” as Abraham Hicks says and we should live accordingly.

    Thanks so much for this reminder. It’s so easy to get back into the norm. 🙂

    1. Thank you for sharing and good to hear you have the courage to step outside of the norm. I find it exhilarating to be independent and make decisions for myself. Cheers Jill

  3. Challenge and Challenge the social norm! I don’t think I’ve ever been the type to follow the social norm and nor do I think I ever will. It’s what makes society so unique. Yes, we all have that capability to be free thinkers and it’s just a damn shame the majority seem to be sheep! I bet the world would be a happier place if people thought for themselves, think about that one for a minute.

    1. Hi Jason, I hear a whole lot of passion in your voice! I agree so much is lost when people behave like sheep. Without breaking free, people deny their true brilliance. Let’s hope we can reach and help a few of them. Thanks for sharing. Cheers Jill

  4. Social Norms. Yes, they are limiting. I have experienced it again recently when my large extended family decided to go on a vacation together. I am talking about me and my cousins organizing this vacation so that our mothers, who are sisters, can have sister bonding time.

    Just planning the vacation alone was painful. I am not one to follow any norm. And from what I experienced, they wanted me to just follow what they planned, and accept it.

    I questioned every step. Every decision. Only because I wanted to see if that is the best option. But they don’t seem to appreciate it. They just want everyone to fall in line.

    And I wasn’t even aggressive or demanding. All I did was ask questions. And I could see they do not like it. So, after a while, i just kept quiet and accepted everything.

    In the back of my mind, I have decided this will be the first and the last time I join this extended family vacation.

    1. Hi Tim, This saddens me. I understand sharing a decision like this, to come up with the best informed plan, is the way to go. Family are often the most tricky. It takes courage to be an independent free thinker. Better luck next time, if you mellow on your decision. Thanks for sharing your experience. Cheers Jill

  5. Hey Jill,
    Nice post about social norms.
    Social norms are a set of rules, which one is expected to follow. But sometimes these social norms are so outdated, they don’t fit in today’s world.
    Today’s world, technology, and everything are changing so fast, and in the process, social norms, in some cases, remain the same.
    Having an online business and trying to create a sustainable passive income was not thought of 10 years ago, but today it is a reality.
    The social norm still suggests it is OK for people to work the whole of their lives and live paycheck to paycheck.

    Regards

    1. Hi Jivita, Great To hear from you again. It saddens me people accept living paycheck to paycheck. Life has a tremendous amount to offer if we open our eyes and look. Cheers Jill

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